


Away, you three inch fool

by Thunderfire69



Series: The IronStrange den [33]
Category: Avengers: Infinity War - Fandom, Doctor Strange - Fandom, Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen, Getting Together, Humour, IronStrange, Irondad, Luther has a cameo as a villain, M/M, Pre-Slash, StrangeIron, Supreme Family, Tony can’t cook, just thought I’d make that clear, some snark, spiderson, stephen cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 23:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunderfire69/pseuds/Thunderfire69
Summary: The five times Stephen says “Away, you three inch fool” and the one time he says “Come hither, you three inch fool”





	Away, you three inch fool

**Author's Note:**

> I threw Luther in as a villain bc skdnskndksnf TUA

**-1**

 

Tony leaned sideways in his suit to make it turn enough to dodge the blast that was fired in his direction. The suit’s cameras zeroed in on his enemy; a sorcerer who kept sending out jets of fire, or bolts of lightning.

 

“That one was a little close,” Tony said through his comms, which earned him a snort from his ally, who was none other than Stephen Strange.

 

“A little is an understatement,” he replied, and Tony spotted him out the corner of his eye, slowly, painfully slowly, advancing on their aggressor down on the ground. He almost wanted to tell Stephen that they’d be here for years if he didn’t make some real progress soon.

 

“Got any idea how we can beat Magic Man?” Tony asked instead, forcing himself not to voice his frustrations.

 

“‘Magic Man’ is named Mordo,” Stephen replied, and Tony could  _ hear  _ the glare in his voice. If they weren’t in the middle of a battle right now, Tony would be getting a full-on death stare. “And we used to work together at Kamar Taj. At least, until he went rogue and started killing sorcerers.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Tony muttered. “Were any of these sorcerers, say, stronger than you are?”

 

“Oh, many of them were,” Stephen replied without even a trace of worry in his tone. “Mordo has absorbed their power, though. I do believe he wishes to one day be the only sorcerer in the world.”

 

“You’re not at all concerned by the fact that he defeated sorcerers far greater than you?” Tony dodged another blast sent out by Mordo, or “Magic Man” as Tony had dubbed him earlier.

 

“I defeated Dormammu,” Stephen said, and the way he said it made it sound like he’d single-handedly taken on the entire universe.

 

“Your mom-oo?” Tony asked, dodging another lightning bolt sent out by Mordo.

 

“ _ Dormammu, _ ” Stephen said forcefully, sounding somewhat annoyed. “Possibly the biggest threat this universe could have ever faced.”

 

“You’re forgetting aliens,” Tony pointed out, and he heard Stephen let out what was possibly the longest, loudest sigh Tony had ever heard. Then he spotted Stephen portal to land right behind Mordo, and then suddenly the two of them disappeared.

 

Tony blinked, unsure of what had just happened. “Strange?” His comms reported back with only static; Tony waited a few more seconds before repeating “Strange?” and again got nothing but static in reply. 

 

Before he could start to panic, though, a portal popped up, and out stumbled a certainly more battered-looking Stephen, who was clutching a hand to his side in obvious pain. Tony instantly dropped into a dive, to land with a loud  _ clunk  _ beside the sorcerer.

 

“You okay?” Tony asked as his mask flicked up, and his eyes instantly fell on the wound in Stephen’s side. “He got you, didn’t he?”

 

Stephen waved him off dismissively. “I got his sling ring. He’s not leaving the mirror dimension anytime soon.”

 

“We need to get you back to the compound. Fix up that wound.”

 

Stephen fixed him with a glare. “I’m fine.”

 

“You’re not.”

 

“Away, you three inch fool,” Stephen said before portalling away; Tony had to be honest, he’d heard a lot of insults, but that one was new.

 

**-2**

 

It had been a long time since Tony had set foot down in his lab, and everything was covered in a thick, thick layer of dust. He’d refused to do anything except plan and scheme and train since what had happened with Thanos, and now that everyone was back, Tony found the idea of being alone in his lab somewhat more appealing.

 

He ran a hand slowly across a now-dust covered gauntlet; it was a Mark IV, so many years old, so outdated and definitely something he hadn’t touched in a long, long time. He smiled slightly as he glanced around his lab; it needed some cleaning, sure, but he felt glad to be back down there.

 

Behind him came a fizzing noise, one Tony recognised to be the portal of Stephen Strange. He hadn’t seen the sorcerer in over a week, since they’d battled Mordo, and Tony turned to face him with a grin.

 

“Finally decided to drop in, huh, Dumbledore?”

 

This comment earned him an eyeroll from Stephen as he closed the portal behind him. Tony noticed Stephen no longer looked in pain, suggested the wound in his side had been healed. Knowing Stephen, it had been healed using magic.

 

“I was going to thank you for your help last week.”

 

“Magic Man wasn’t as bad as you made him out to be,” Tony said, which earned him another eyeroll. He watched Stephen cast his gaze around the dusty, almost forgotten lab.

 

“Haven’t been down here in a while?”

 

“Not for literal years,” Tony said, grinning at Stephen. “It’s just a little dusty.”

 

“Have I ever mentioned about you and your understatements?” 

 

“Not recently, no,” Tony said, his grin morphing into a shit-eating one for just a moment. “How’s the wound? Healed up well?”

 

“Magic heals things far quicker than any modern medicine,” Stephen replied.

 

“And yet you still can’t find a cure for your ugly personality.”

 

“Away, you three inch fool,” Stephen replied with a dismissive hand gesture before portalling away. If Tony was honest, the insult was starting to grow on him.

 

**-3**

 

Tony had enough to deal with at 3am without Stephen deciding to drop in. He was looking after Peter for a couple of days, and Peter had somehow gotten into Tony’s vast supply of iced coffee and was currently very, very hyperactive and was hanging from the ceiling.

 

“Lasagna is just pasta flavoured cake, Mr Stark.”

 

“For the last time, Peter, get to fucking bed.”

 

“He’s not going to sleep if he’s awake at this hour.” 

 

Tony glanced up tiredly at the new voice. “Can you magic him to sleep?”

 

“I wish,” Stephen replied. “I came here seeking peace and quiet. Wong’s blasting Beyoncé again.”

 

“Still dont regret taking him to her concert.”

 

“Mr Stark what if horses could fly? And if they ate meat?” Peter was hanging from the ceiling more dangerously now, connected to it by a single toe.

 

“What if you actually went to bed, huh?” 

 

“Doctor Wizard!” Peter had finally noticed Stephen was in the room. “Have you thought about how cool Spider-Man is? I wish he was real.”

 

Tony reached up and managed to haul Peter off the ceiling without dropping him onto the floor. “That’s it. Off to bed with you.”

 

Stephen snorted at the sight; Peter laying very dramatically across Tony’s arms as the short man struggled to bear his weight. He summoned a portal directly to Peter’s bedroom, obviously seeing how Tony would struggle to get Peter there otherwise.

 

“Thanks, magical wizard man,” Tony said, straining under Peter’s weight.

 

“Away, you three inch fool,” Stephen said, gesturing to the portal; Tony gave Stephen a fond eyeroll before stepping through and promptly dropping Peter onto the bed.

 

**-4**

 

Tony was  _ really  _ sick of this guy, he decided as he was thrown against the pavement for the fourth time that day. His armour was starting to get a little busted up, and he didn’t like Peter’s chances, since he was slowly getting more and more reckless. Tony was thankful he’d permanently upgraded Peter to the iron spider suit earlier that week, since it was holding up better than his old suit would have.

 

“You alright, Tones?” Rhodey’s voice came through the comms, and Tony forced a smile into his voice.

 

“Just peachy,” he said through gritted teeth. “Though this guy’s starting to get on my nerves.”

 

“Stephen and I just finished up with Little Miss Sunshine a few blocks over. We’ll be there to help soon.”

 

“Good.” Tony trained his eyes on his opponent as he patched his comms through to Peter. “Rhodey and Stephen are getting here soon, kid. Hang back, okay?”

 

“But-” Peter began, then stopped, knowing Tony would likely just disable his suit’s functions to keep him grounded or something of a similar nature.

 

Tony’s suit cameras zeroed in on his opponent, taking in the hideously mismatched colours of his outfit and the way he walked, his steps heavy under the weight of his muscle mass. His accomplice had been a nimble, knife-throwing woman, whom he continuously referred to as “Sunshine”, and she was obviously the brains of the team, while he, who Tony had found to be called Luther, was obviously the brawn.

 

He was pure muscle, and Tony was pretty sure the guy couldn’t have a smart thought if he tried. Sunshine was obviously the one with all the plans, so taking down Luther shouldn’t be too much of a challenge once Rhodey and Stephen showed up.

 

Luther turned his sights to Tony again, and came lumbering towards him; Tony forced himself to stand and tried to duck away from Luther’s attempts to grab him, which resulted in Tony’s opponent tearing away a chunk of his armour. Tony couldn’t quite regain his composure quick enough after this, allowing Luther to grab him.

 

The brute’s grip was strong, and he partially crushed Tony in his grip before throwing him again; the place where he’d ripped the armour away now exposed Tony’s side to the elements, resulting in some nasty shredding of his skin. Unwilling to go down without a fight, Tony pushed himself to his feet again, only to have Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, land in front of him.

 

“Away, you three inch fool,” he said to Tony, which made the shorter man laugh for a moment. Then he got to witness Stephen become a human fireball with his own two eyes, and the sorcerer launched himself over at Luther in what Tony would later describe as the brute’s fiery demise.

 

**-5**

 

In hindsight, Tony really shouldn’t have put himself in charge of cooking for the evening. He knew he couldn’t cook for shit, but having guests over, even if said guests were just May, Peter and Stephen, made him feel he should be cooking. He frantically tried to stop the lasagna from burning- who thought it was a good idea to cook lasagna anyway?- and accidentally set the whole thing alight.

 

“Need a hand?” An amused looking Stephen stood in the kitchen doorway, surveying the mess Tony had made of the kitchen.

 

“No,” Tony replied stubbornly, beating at the flame with a tea-towel and squealing in fear the moment it, too, caught alight. He dropped it, and Stephen gave a wave of his hand; the fire immediately snuffed out.

 

“Thanks,” Tony said grudgingly, picking up his now blackened, half burned tea towel. He turned back to his burning lasagna, and let out a long sigh before grabbing a glass, filling it with water and dumping it all over the food, effectively putting out the fire but also ruining the food.

 

“You can’t cook, can you?” 

 

“Not at all,” he admitted as he dumped his ruined lasagna into the trash. Stephen let out a laugh.

 

“That doesn’t surprise me at all. If you  _ could  _ cook I’d be surprised.”

 

“Are you stereotyping me? Do you  _ dare  _ sterotype the great Tony Stark?”

 

“The ‘Great Tony Stark’ just ruined dinner, so I think I have the right,” Stephen replied.

 

“Think you can do better?” Tony challenged.

 

“I  _ know  _ I can do better.” Stephen gave Tony a friendly shove in the direction of the kitchen door. “Away, you three inch fool.”

 

Later, Tony would have to admit the meal he ate was possibly one of the best he’d ever tasted; and that no matter how many times he checked the compound’s security footage, he could see no evidence that Stephen used magic to prepare their food.

 

**+1**

 

Tony’s old habits had returned; he was down in his lab, tinkering with his suit. It was the fifth night he’d been down here this week, and considering it was Friday, it was suffice to say his old habits had consumed him once more. He turned to try and grab the last panel he needed to replace to finish with what he’d begun, only to find it not there. His brow furrowed in confusion until a voice spoke up.

 

“Looking for something?”

 

“Strange,” Tony said with a sigh, but he wasn’t really annoyed. “That’s the last piece I need to finish up this upgrade, so give it here.”

 

“It’s nearly 12am,” Stephen said, unmoving, the iron armour panel still clutched in his hand.

 

“I’m aware,” Tony said, even though he really hadn’t been. The next thing he said wasn’t a lie, though. “I was finishing up anyway. That’s the last thing I’ve got to do.”

 

Stephen gave Tony a hard stare. “It better be.” Then he passed over the panel; Tony took it and carefully slotted in back into place with a small click. Then he picked up the armour he’d been working on, which happened to be the arm piece, hefting it into his arms.

 

“Woah woah woah, where are you going with that?” Stephen asked accusingly, as if he’d just caught Tony mid-lie.

 

“I’m putting it away, dipshit,” Tony replied, then made his way across the labs to reconnect it to the rest of the suit. He’d barely finished when suddenly he’d fallen onto his bed; the sneaky sorcerer had opened a portal directly to his room. With a slight groan of annoyance, Tony pushed himself up.

 

“I can walk you know.”

 

“I wasn’t certain you could walk to your room without stopping along the way about thirty times,” Stephen said, taking a seat on the edge of Tony’s bed.

 

“I want to get to bed as much as you want me to get there.”

 

“Really.” Stephen fixed him with a hard stare.

 

“Yes, really! Is it that hard for you to believe that I actually want some sleep?” Tony was getting a little sick of how protective Stephen had been recently.

 

“Actually, yes,” Stephen said. “Considering that you are keeping this argument going-”

 

“Oh, fuck you,” Tony said, sitting down heavily on the end of his bed. “You’re such a mother hen sometimes, you know that?”

 

“Wong has told me on  _ many  _ occasions,” Stephen replied with a smile. “But I’m pretty sure he needs more beauty sleep than you do.”

 

“You need  _ less  _ beauty sleep,” Tony said, without thinking. “Otherwise I think half the world might explode.”

 

“What, from how handsome I am?”

 

“Something like that.” Tony yawned, and glanced down at his oily work clothes. “I should probably get into some-”

 

He didn’t even get to finish the sentence before Stephen had waved his hand, and suddenly Tony was in more comfortable clothes; a sleep shirt and some shorts.

 

“Thanks,” he said begrudgingly. He really still wasn’t used to Stephen’s magic.

 

“Come hither, you three inch fool,” Stephen said, a hint of affection in his tone, before he pulled Tony forward to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t even know what the original idea for this fic was, where it came from but... I’m so glad I wrote this. Also thanks to the IronStrange discord for helping me with an idea for the fifth one!


End file.
